They know what they should do. Subconsciously they do, but they choose to ignore it and let it be and I don’t know why they want to do that especially when they know me very well.

If it was me, if I see this happening to my friend, I would tell those people that she cares about the things that I’ve been reading on her blog or whatever it is and tell them they need to do something about it because clearly something is bothering her and it doesn’t look good at all.

But of course, everyone ignores it as if it’s not written there. If they do say something though, they’d say something personally to me by themselves and they won’t go around letting other people know.

Because I want him to know but I don’t to be the one telling him. 

I shouldn’t even writing this down. I think I just need to get a grip and pretend like everything is okay.

When they tell me, “Don’t do something stupid okay?” Lol. Are they like serious? You think just by saying that the chances of me doing something stupid is lesser?

Trust me it’s not. My heart feels heavy, I feel sick to my stomach but if it’s what I have to do then I’m going to do it.

Everyone deserves better than what’s about to happen to me.

Whatever. I just want to get this over with.